It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
