Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
