I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
