420 ftw
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
