New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
