if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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