yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
