i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
