Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You dont lie about slip and slides
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
