i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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