i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
