I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
