Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
