it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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