can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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