I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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