Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
