everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
