great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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