Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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