Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
