I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
