Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
