YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
