Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
