I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
