the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
