I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
