Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
