So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My penis needs a shock collar
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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