Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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