adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
