i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
