Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
