You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
