I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
a search helicopter?!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
