At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he was CRYING into my vagina
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
