So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
