I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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