Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
