Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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