I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
