I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
