5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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