You really coming over, don't trick.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
