i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I want to fling myself into the sun
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
