My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
