he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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