Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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