my mouth tastes like poor choices
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
