we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
