Sacagawea was the original milf.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
