Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
