yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I think im going to throw up on grandma
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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