shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Everclear isn't food dammit
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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